Since getting engaged to my wonderful fiance Andy, I've had a pretty good idea of what kind of wedding I want. Instead of hiring a wedding coordinator, I'm using an invaluable site Theknot.com to keep track of everything. I frequently get emails from them with great wedding advice and today's article advises how to handle rude questions that people often ask brides-to-be. I found their comebacks too vanilla for my taste, so I came up with some of my own.
"Are you sure you're ready?"
I'm unemployed and don't have health insurance. You bet your ass I'm ready.
"The marriage won't last."
Neither do his erections.
"Your engagement is too long."
This conversation's too long.
"Your engagement is too short."
I have cancer.
"Is that really the ring you wanted?"
No. (Then burst into tears.)
"This bridesmaid dress is ugly."
It was hard for me to find something that would flatter your big fat ass.
"That's a great idea...I'll do it too!"
Great, why you don't just steal all my fucking ideas?
"Who is paying for all this?"
Oprah. Who the hell do you think?
"Am I going to be invited?"
Um...I'd love to invite you, but because we have such a big budget, I'm limiting the guest list to friends and family.
"How much did that cost?"
How much did your face cost?
"I'm RSVPing...with guest."
Wonderful! ANOTHER freeloader.
"I want to make a toast."
I don't want my wedding to suck.
"So when are you going to have kids?"
I'm barren.
Read more: Bad Wedding Etiquette Comebacks - Sticky Subjects - Wedding Planning - TheKnot.com http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-problems/articles/bad-etiquette-comebacks.aspx?page=10#ixzz1eNaP1a2w
Hooray snappy comebacks!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dean! I didn't realize anyone commented til just now. They don't notify me. :)
ReplyDelete